Like I said last week, Netflix is bringing all the late 80's/early 90's nostalgia for TV and to be honest, I think it is something we all need more of.
Netflix is a gift. It can make me laugh (Tiger King), cry (Last Chance U), mad (Jeffrey Epstein: Filthy Rich) and even hungry (Great British Baking Show) Netflix is the only reason 95% of us are surviving this pandemic and just as the ink dried on my thank you note to Ted Sarandos, President of Netflix, they dropped this:
Ted Sarandos for President of America.
Unsolved Mysteries was back in my life. Just like that kid from, I don't know, Mississippi or Louisiana who went missing after school, but turned up as an adult years later in the same town with no memory of what had happened.
Now you know, I have a real love/hate relationship with horror movies/shows/books/podcasts, but I am ALWAYS here for some True Crime. If I die a mysterious death, the FBI will take one look at my podcast line-up and assume I am both the victim and the culprit. I.Love. True.Crime.
Probably because of this show.
In the late 80's this was a sit down, get all my chores, homework and other child labor done so I could be focused and ready to solve any crimes Robert Stack had for me.
I feel like we got about 3 different stories per episode. Robert Stack in that smart trench coat always appearing out of a mist in like a train station or abandoned mall parking lot. With that salt-and-pepper hair, introducing us to the mystery before us with linguistic clues and deep eyes.
Was/am I in love with Robert Stack?
Oh the material they covered. UFO's, haunted houses, abducted waitresses. I especially loved when they revisited an "old time" mystery. Like someone they thought went down with the Titanic, but was instead living as a housewife in Minot, North Dakota. So many mysteries to be solved!!!
This show was appointment viewing at my house not only for me, but for my parents. It was kind of our little ritual since my brother was "too young" to watch. I couldn't have felt more grown up if it had been me watching Porky's with my parents. That's gross. What I mean is I just felt like a grown-up doing something that my brother couldn't do.
I can still hear my mom saying things like "Did anyone consider he drowned?" in the episode where a little boy went missing near a river. Part of me was like "duh," but the other part drew from the keen eye witness interviews UM was known for and said "No, too obvious. Figure it out, Mom." My Dad always liked the ones about aliens or things like Stonehenge. He would just say things like "Well I'll be dipped." I don't know what it means either, but it's a phrase I still use to this day. Dipped.
As much as I loved the ritual and watching UM, I hated when they flashed up that "If you have any information on the whereabouts of..." because I knew that was the signal it was time for me to go to sleep.
Bedtime after UM was always as drawn out as I could get away with. An extra tooth brushing to prevent a cavity I felt burgeoning. A quick check from my non-physician mother to see if she also thought that spot on my knee was cancer. My parents should have had me tested for diabetes as you never knew a kid so dehydrated as I was after a night watching UM. "Just one more glass of water before bed..."
There, in the dark of my room, I would reflect on all that I had seen. The UFO's, the aliens, the Titanic ghosts, the whole lot. And I would get so caught up in the details and the fear and sadness. But I could never let on or I knew my parents wouldn't allow me to watch it anymore if they knew I was scared. So, I hid it pretty well. Except after one episode where a little girl had gone to the store with her grandmother and the grandmother never came back; up and vanished. I called my grandmothers every day for a week. Back when you had to pay for long distance. You can't be too careful.
Precious UM. Definitely the precursor to all the other mystery and whodunit shows I still love today. But sometimes, even those get stale. Dateline is basically just a show about murders in Miami or small towns in Alaska, now. And some of the stuff on ID is just deplorable. So when Netflix brought back the OG, I was never more ready.
It was a Saturday, but a Pandemic Saturday which could have also been a Monday for all I know. Bee was gone and JD was doing stupid stuff like vacuuming and emptying the dishwasher. I had to watch in daylight, in case it was too scary, but I was ready. Snacks in hand and beagle by my side, I hit play.
THEY KEPT THE ORIGINAL THEME SONG!!!!
Well, this is already perfect. Nowhere to go from here, we have hit apex mountain.
Until...
THEY HAD A SHADOWY HOMAGE TO ROBERT STACK IN THE BACKGROUND.
Will life even get better?
Wow. I hit that first episode and was hooked. Hooked on nostalgia, mystery solving and Robert Stack all over again. (This Robert Stack thing is literally unfolding as I type. I am as confused by it as you are.)
Only six episodes, but already talk of a second season... JD came in during episode 2 and said "I see that you're watching the new Unsolved Mysteries...so, you'll be up all night?"
Damn you, tattletale Netflix app. And yes, probably.
I am not even a little ashamed to tell you I watched them all in one sitting. I marathoned UM and I wish I had a t-shirt or a trophy for doing so. It was every bit as good as I remember, but with a shiny Netflix update. In all fairness, some of the stories I had actually already heard on a couple of the True Crime podcasts I like, but I didn't even care. I will take all the evidence I can get. Bring me the clues... What if I, just a simple Kentucky housewife and mother could solve a high profile crime? As I live and breathe, I would be like the winner of Unsolved Mysteries. Look at me, changing lives just by watching true crime tv.
A couple of days after I had finished it, Bee came in and asked if she could watch it. I didn't even think before shouting "No! You're a child." Unphased, she left and JD said "Weren't you JUST telling me how you used to watch this with your parents all the time? And wouldn't that put you about her age?" Yes, but that was different. We didn't have the Internet then.
Oh, but we have it now. And with the Internet, we have Netflix. And with Netflix, we get all the good stuff like Baby-Sitters Club and updated versions of Unsolved Mysteries.
I can also use the Internet to Google "Robert Stack Foggy Trench Coat..."
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