Yes. Lucky me.
The quarantine hit about the same time the "girls over here, boys over there" classes did too. Which means, as a newly minted homeschool teacher/guidance counselor/director of student activities/ and nurse, this curriculum landed STRAIGHT in my lap. (You really might think about playing Britney Spears Lucky while you read that.)
This. THIS whole topic was my literal nightmare growing-up. Had this book existed "in my day," I would have read it cover-to-cover to avoid all the awkwardness that comes from a foundation of sex education knowledge forged from the western Kentucky public school system brain trust.
I vividly remember the day my fourth grade teacher split the girls from the boys and rolled the TV and VCR into the classroom. I thought "Finally, they are going to catch us up on Math and Science." No. Instead, we were treated to a videoTAPE about our changing bodies. And on a day that the cafeteria served spaghetti... It was awful. And there had been no notice. Which was kind of my Mom's MO in those days; letting me be ambushed by information I wasn't ready to handle. I rushed to her classroom after school knowing she would be as outraged as I that such filth had been shown just one floor below her at school that day. I ran into her room and said "You are NEVER going to believe what Ms. Brown let us watch today." My Mom looked at me like I was insane and said "Oh, that's right. That was today."
What. The. Hell.
She had known I was going to be shown a video talking about un bike wreck related bleeding and she didn't think a 10-year-old might need a little head's up?
But that was how it went. We NEVER talked about any of the Fourth Grade Health Curriculum for Girls at my house. EVER. It was completely out-of-bounds.
Side bar: My teacher in 4th grade was as cool as the other side of the pillow. She was FRESH out of UK and everything she did was awesome. She chewed gum in class, she wore chunky jewelry, she had incredible hair out of a Pantene ad and she drove the most important car of all cars... a Suzuki Sidekick. She was also my tennis coach and she would drive me home from lessons and I would just pray to GOD that someday, I would be cool and drive a Suzuki Sidekick. I also would have died from Toxic Shock Syndrome before I would have asked her a question about anything from the video that day. She was so cool, she probably didn't have to get a period.
Anyway, we never talked about anything body related in my house growing-up. In fact, now that I think of it, we still really don't. I am very sure that if you asked my Dad, he would only partially admit that I have ever had sex. And I have had a baby. Of my own. From my body. Please do not ever ask my Dad if he thinks I have had sex. See also, my brother.
Which is kind of fine. It is so uncomfortable for anyone, much less a 10-year-old. But there were times in my life when I had real, legit, medical based questions that I needed and wanted answers on. To that, my Mom would take me to the pediatrician. On one such visit, I distinctly remember him asking "When my last bowel movement" was. I replied "I haven't started yet." No, really. So you see, I didn't even have the right vernacular to have an intelligent conversation about having a period and going to the bathroom.
And then, this gem.
I do not remember where or when or from whom this came, but it was probably God because it was exactly what I needed. It was real girls with real issues and I could relate to ALL of it. My word, my name is even Margaret. Could this have been more tailored?!?!? No. I read it no fewer than 25 times. Judy Blume is someone I will continue to nominate for sainthood until the Vatican takes out a restraining order on me.
More than anything, I didn't care about the biology of it all. I cared about the social part of what was happening. If I wind up in a situation where a boy wants to kiss me, do I let him? Am I legally allowed? Or should I get a rape whistle? Did other girls my age wear bras from the old lady section at Dillards? Yes? Ok. I'll allow it. The 28-day cycles and the fallopian tubes of it all are really not that important in the grand scheme of things. That is for the doctors to know and me to not worry about. What IS important is how to handle your changing body socially and emotionally. The day I got my period (at school, no less) my Mom literally dropped a brown paper bag of "supplies," in the office where I had to be called down to get them. It looked like my Mom had dropped me off a second lunch. Not even a purse or a backpack. Just a brown paper bag like there was a tall boy inside.
So now that I am a full-blown Nurse and Pediatrician and Obgyn and Child Psychologist and Master Class instructor on Judy Blume, this is my entire syllabus and I shan't stray from it.
We have started with the American Girl book which, also a godsend, has laid out all the biology of it. If I am being honest, I have learned a few things myself. We go through this about once a week in the few parts I have the courage to work through. The rest of it we may have to get to when bars open back up.
As a companion, we are reading Margaret. B thinks it is amazing because it has my name in the title. Duh. It is. But also, it has explained so much more of the emotional and social and given her a little comfort and confidence to ask or clarify questions. The first night was rough. We both wound-up in tears. JD was at a boys night (conveniently) and got some pretty colorful texts in the process. When he came home, he walked right past me and said "I figured out how to pay for college... this one is on you."
Ugh.
I think we are going to make it. I already feel like she has a better foundation than I ever did. I got started off in western Kentucky public school, moved to a public middle school in Louisville that was basically The Bachelor of middle schools. I then transitioned to all girls Catholic school which, shocker, was a little more fear based when it came to chatting about sex and finished up in Wyoming where sex was based in pick-up trucks and rodeos. It is a wonder I have made it as far as I have.
This was a lot. Probably more than I intended to share. Definitely more than I should have shared. But this is where we are in life and in quarantine.
Just a head's up... if you ask B how this is going, you better be able to take a punch.
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