It's All Back: Full House, Tie Dye and My Blog

Well guys, here it is. 

Straight out of a museum with Washington’s wooden teeth, that well Baby Jessica fell down and all the dogs the Baha Men let out. It’s my blog. 

Kind of. Different name…different format…same aggressive use of commas and reckless abandon of MLA standards. 

If you are new around here, welcome, and also I used to have a blog. It was called Simply Sanderson and I started it when I began staying at home with Sweet B in 2011. Don’t look for it on the Internet because I scrubbed that mess CSI style.  What I thought were the true hilarious styling of Judy Blume or Tina Fey was probably more like the beginning discovery for a criminal case or psychology class on a “new mother and her desperate need for adult interaction. “

Whatever it was, it was mine. And it was an outlet for me to discuss everything from the Royal family to the Manson family to my own family. None of which were mutually exclusive. I was dedicated to the blog; I dreamed in blog. I began sourcing material every minute of every day. And I was super lucky that a handful of people really enjoyed it. And told me that regularly. Friends and family and strangers would say “You should write a blog about this!” or “Seriously, if you blog about this, I will get lawyers involved.” No one ever threatened legal action. But plenty could/should have.  

It was an outlet. It was a way to keep distant family and friends in the loop with all the comings and goings of the Simple Sandersons. It was a baby book for Sweet B and it was A LOT OF FREAKING WORK.  

And then it stopped. 

We had moved to Phoenix and I wasn’t living my same blog-worthy life anymore. I was barely getting out of bed. It suddenly felt really inappropriate that I would blog about the Oscar fashion when I, myself, was living an existence where swimming counted as bathing. I was miserable and I was lost and hated every single person with a blog. Including myself. 

That got dark faster than I anticipated. 

Anyway, I never stopped thinking in blog or writing posts in my head or giving everything in my life a clever title. I took a break and wrote for a magazine for a while. I wrote LOTS of obituaries, which was great for my depression. Then I got into some weird poetry that I have since burned. I even wrote several speeches for  Rodeo Queens. No, really.  Blogging was over.

But last Spring, my best friend from high school was in town and we met for a brunch date that turned into a weird day where I had to get an Uber at 3:30. PM.

This is the kind of friend who has always been a straight shooter. She has said all of the following:  “I just don’t think that is the right sweater for you. Or maybe anyone.” And “If Darwinism ever resurges, she is the first to go.” Or the oldie “I mean, if you don’t ask him to homecoming, Make-A-Wish is going to have to get him a date.” She’s practically perfect in every way. 

She is at the top of her game in every aspect of her life. So I was completely unprepared when she came at me with this: 

“What are you SO busy doing that you can’t get that blog back up and running?”

WHAT?? How dare you. Wow. Okay. Hard truths. 

I mean, just off the top-of-my-head…

1.    I was waiting to see if they were going to make Night at the Museum 4.

2.    I devoted a lot of time to reading about Marie Kondo and no time implementing her strategies. 

3.    I found some jeans from high school that fit and I spent a lot of time trying to get people to notice. 

4.    TWO-DAYS-IN-A-ROW I had irregular heartbeats. TWO. 

5.    Instagram. All day, every day.

6.    Even starting something like that makes me feel like I have to go the iStore. 

7.    ROYAL WEDDINGS

8.    I had to learn Instacart.

9.    Sister Wives moved to Flagstaff from Vegas and it almost killed me. 

10. One night I accidentally took an ambien and a dulcolax and, well…

She supported none of these reasons. 

She also wouldn’t let it go. I was like “Let’s get another mimosa and some cheese fries” and she was like” Let’s figure out your blog post calendar.”  

She was the push I needed. And, thanks to her inspiring words and some light to moderate bullying, here we are.  I hope to publish once a week. I hope to still be this creative. I hope I can remember all my blogger logins. 

I missed this blog and hope you did too.  I missed her like that old sorority sister that makes you think, “Gosh, I like her. I don’t know why I don’t spend more time with her. “And then I will get on a tear of reallycrappy posts and you’ll be like “Oh, right. Because she’s the worst.”